Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Unsung Hero

Reliable, steadfast, strong work ethic, productive, unselfish, highly intelligent, extremely knowledgeable, driven, unfailing, and excellent people manager are just a few of the amazing qualities my husband has. Charismatic, entertaining, hilarious, brilliant, talented, creative, musical, technical, dedicated, amusing, concentrative, analytical, compassionate, passionate, patient (at times), meticulous, and friendly begin to flesh out his character. Sweet, caring, kind, trustworthy, loyal, monogamous, attractive, handsome, damn sexy, supportive, attentive, never condescending, tender, loving, and romantic hint upon the depth of humanity and grace in this man. This is a piece about my husband, the unsung hero of my family.
In the twenty-four years since I met my husband, then a plucky sixteen almost seventeen year old high school senior, I have seen vast growth, immense maturity, and a tackling of demons that would have toppled others. But my husband stands taller today than most of his age or older. Through good times, bad, and dark times as well, my husband has never given up, run away, or quit. The man wakes up each and every day determined to better himself, stay true to himself, and leave the world a little better than he found it. Though demons still haunt him from time to time, he consistently follows a healthy path, starts his day over whenever necessary, and carries forth with that mega-watt smile.
For richer, which we experienced for a few glorious years, to leaner, which we are languishing now, his fierceness in providing for his family is unparalleled. From a two salary family of two to a now one salary family of five, with the onus to provide solely on him, my husband dutifully goes off to work to secure a better now and future for our family. Whereas I am rewarded with being home to witness first smiles, first steps, and hugs and kisses all the day long, he is met with the superstar greeting of "Hi Daddy!!!!!" and enormous bear hugs when he walks in the door. While looking through the day's mail he is bombarded by the spelling test and math papers of the day. A construction paper cut out of the letter "F" is thrust onto the pile by the pre-schooler while the baby just screeches until her daddy's attention is directly placed on her and he is cajoled to pick her up.
When financial troubles hit my husband knew he had to stop his hobby, a passion he had only newly discovered and enjoyed immensely, racing. As a family we would attend 4-6 races a season and cheer my husband. We made these family vacations about all of us and we all enjoyed them. But something had to give and racing was it. We all miss it, but he must miss it most of all. But I have never heard him complain about this sacrifice he's made. One day he'll get back to it.
When our oldest son took up Karate, something neither of us ever experienced in our lives, and I followed suit a few months later, my husband knew it was a worthwhile endeavor for him to participate and joined himself. He uses Karate not only for exercise, but a way to stay close to our eldest and now middle child. He has this in common with them and it allows them even more time to be together working toward a goal. Even after a torn ACL and the surgery and recuperation/therapy that's followed has sidelined my husband temporarily, he continues to stay actively aware of his son's Karate. And he's worked amazingly hard at bringing his leg back to health with agonizing PT sessions and little to no complaining. Even now, nursing a respiratory infection, my husband continues his course unaltered, without complaining, and deals. And this man is wonderful in that he will watch Grey's Anatomy or Glee with me with as much sincere enthusiasm as he does watching a NASCAR race, American Pickers, or Pawn Stars! In fact, he admits he's a "Gleek"! He loves to go to musical theater, sings to the radio, and has a very romantic song he dedicates to me!
This man sweeps every category in the husband category as well. My husband is a fantastic cook, a precision cleaner, more than proficient as a mechanic for the cars, handy-man for the house, IT guy for our computers, and one hell of an entertainer! When I get overwhelmed in my stay-at-home role, he forces me out the door for some "me time". When I am scared, frustrated, or drained, he holds me and encourages me. And the reasons he gets truly angry with me are when I stop taking care of myself. He advocates for ME when I'm not doing it.
As if full time work and sole provider isn't enough, my husband is earning a Master's Degree to continue to expand his education and marketability. It is not an easy task when his heart would rather be home. But he is tireless in his convictions and has managed to stay employable by continuing his vast education. Yet he still mows the lawn, rakes the leaves, and blows and shovels the snow. He changes the oil, washes the cars, and cares for our deck.
I don't know how I lucked out on the "husband lottery" but I can tell you, I just did. We met in high school, solidified a friendship, fell in love, and, quite frankly, have never fallen out of love. We have had growing pains, sought the counsel of professionals, and had to redirect ourselves, but we have never wanted to not be together. My husband is the best father and husband and I am truly blessed he chose me to be his life partner. Moms get a lot of good press in our society. Children are often lifted up in our culture as well, Dads, however, always seem to get short shifted. These are expected roles for men so why laud them? Because they may be expected but not many men live up to that high standard. My husband breaks the roof of what is expected. He is the glue that holds our family together. He is the soul of our family. He is the rock that we rely for shelter, grounding, and protection. He is the unsung hero of our family. Today I sang about him.

I love you, Honey.


  1. Crying and blushing.

    I love you too, Honey.

  2. Ra Ra Racer 187 :-) Your both unsung hero's :-)

  3. You are a lucky girl, and he is lucky to have someone who appreciates him.