Fifty Years Married, Fifty Facts to Keep Romance Alive

Fifty years ago today, with nothing but love, faith, and a desire to spend the rest of their lives together, my mom and dad eloped. They were young, in love, and sure of themselves.



It was Valentine’s Day.



Other than the fact they married on this “Lovers’ Day”, I never thought of my parents as a traditionally romantic couple. Of course, my point of reference was always skewed being their daughter and the youngest of their three children.

By the time my older brothers were out of the house due to college or work, I seemed to be the third wheel whenever they wanted to go out to dinner or travel, but they always insisted I wasn’t ruining their time together.

Dad didn’t present Mom with obligatory flowers nor did she surprise him with tickets to the Daytona 500. But I’m finding they were certainly romantic.

As I’ve grown older and just marked my twentieth anniversary with my husband (we’ve been together 27 years), I finally understand better about romance.



Here are the things I’ve learned about Love, Marriage, and Romance as we celebrate my parents’ fifty years of matrimony.

Love is powerful.
Romance is a state of mind.
Taking out the garbage, caring for the cars, mowing the lawn, and painting are ways of showing love.
Making the meals, grocery shopping, keeping the house, and raising the children with love is, too.
Holding hands keeps you connected.
Kissing is soothing.
Fighting is part of marriage. When you stop communicating you stop caring.
Forgiveness is the key.
Share passions.
Have separate passions.
Have a lock for the bedroom door.
Use it.
Enjoy time with your children.
Enjoy time with your friends.
Enjoy time alone.
Enjoy time with your spouse alone.
Appreciate your happy home life.
Treat yourself to a night out.
See one another as the sexy, beautiful mate you fell in love with – always.
Speak kindly to your spouse.
Speak kindly about your spouse to others.
Laugh, often.
Know what your spouse is thinking – “Remember that movie with what’s her name?” “Yes, dear, that was Elizabeth Taylor.” No other details are needed, just filling in the blanks.
Sing together.
Delight in one another’s accomplishments.
Be there for one another when things don’t go well.
Know your strengths and weaknesses and your mate's. Fill in one another’s gaps.
Touch often.
Have pet names for one another.
Smile at one another.
Set long term goals.
Enjoy the here and now.
Have two sinks.
Have two toilets.
Bathe together.
Give one another massages.
Bring each other coffee/tea/wine.
Call in the middle of the day to say, “I love you.”
Run errands together even when you don’t “have” to.
Never criticize the other’s driving.
Listen to one another without judgment.
Keep your sense of humor always.
Be best friends with your spouse.
Be patient.
Be kind.
Compromise.
Lose an argument.
Compliment one another.
Complement one another.
Kiss often and always.


True to form, my parents do not even understand why people are making a big fuss about their 50th anniversary.

I told them, “Not everybody makes it this long. People give up, give in, and let go. Some married much later and are not blessed with longevity. You two have made it to this wonderful milestone. People are happy for you, in awe of your commitment, and want to celebrate such wonderful news!”

My parents completely understand. They are enjoying the fuss people are making even if it embarrasses them a bit, too.

I’m just feeling so fortunate to have them to love, celebrate their marriage, and serve as a product of their love.

Happy 50th Anniversary Mom and Dad! And many many many happy more years together! XO XO

Melissa Jane Heads to the Grammy's

Melissa Jane, MJ to her fans and friends, is a recording artist in Boston who I have had the privilege to interview. She is a gorgeous, well-spoken, highly talented, and charming young lady who has been given an invitation to The 55th Annual Grammy Awards on February 10th, 2013 at the Staples Center in LA.

Melissa is scheduled to join A-list celebrities at the Roots’ Pre-Grammy Jam, the Official Grammy’s After Party and the Senate Music Group, LLC’s Pre-Grammy Tribute to the 2013 Grammy Nominee’s.

Melissa and I chatted recently and I asked her about how she will be adorned for this huge night. Melissa responded:

“My dress is being custom designed by Polina Pantyushina of Weymouth, MA, hair by my hair sponsor Salon Marc Harris (my stylist Oriana is flying out to LA for the event) and makeup by LA makeup artist Joanne Kang.”

There is no doubt Melissa will look stunning as she walks the red carpet at the Grammy’s and attends myriad parties!

The young, burgeoning singer will be accompanying major LA production and songwriting company, The Senate Music Group LLC, whose credits include Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars and Justin Timberlake, among others.

Last year proved to be an exciting one for this up and coming artist. Melissa Jane was nominated for Best Independent Artist at the Boston Nightlife Awards and she has been traveling to NYC and LA making major career moves.

“I couldn’t imagine living without music.” said Melissa Jane, who has been wowing audiences with her vocal power and presence since the early age of four. She has gone from performing in her family’s living room to legendary venues such as Boston’s Fenway Park, Paradise Rock Club, Hard Rock Cafe and Gillette Stadium.

Melissa is currently working on her new EP with RIO (Akon, Swizz Beats, Jada, Dropkick Murphy's), Devine Evans and the Senate (Rihanna, Britney Spears, Chris Brown, Nicki Minaj) and a few other talented producers and songwriters.

Meanwhile, her single “Remember” can be heard in clubs and on radio in Tokyo, Buenos Aires, London, and down America’s east coast. Production team Tokyo Angel of Tokyo, Japan remixed the track for Barzet Records—hear it now on beatport.com.

It’s not every day I get to live vicariously through a lucky person attending the Grammy Awards, but this year I get to do so and you can, too. Find Melissa Jane on social media and see what she is up to, how the Grammy ensemble looks, and listen to her music.



ABOUT MELISSA JANE:


http://www.MELISSAJANE.com

http://www.facebook.com/MelissaJaneSings

http://www.twitter.com/MelissJaneMusic

http://www.youtube.com/MelissaJaneSings

This Is Not Goodbye...

So, I have returned, sort of. What was supposed to be a two week break to celebrate the holidays with my family morphed into a hiatus with no clear cut end in sight.

It’s not that I don’t love writing because I truly do. It’s just that I found I had run out of things to write about that pleased me. And that’s scary. I never have experienced such a “writer’s block” in all of my years of writing, but there is always a first for everything.

I thought about quietly walking away from Chief 187™Chatter, but some of my loyal readers called me out on that. And I really don’t want to walk away. I love this site and I adore my body of work I have created. But creating out of habit or, even worse, pressure, was depressing me.

Life is a work in progress. Change is inevitable. The only constant is Change.

And my life is constantly changing as I have children in the house.

My ten year old and six year old sons are involved in many extra-curricular activities that keep us out of the house every single week night. My daughter, at three, has completely abandoned her nap and requires ever more time and attention from me.

These read like excuses, but I cannot help it. I am blessed with a daily life and schedule that keeps me fully engaged in the here and now and leaves me little motivation to put “pen to paper”.

I’m not quitting, but I am cutting back. I’m not even sure what that means. It could be 3-4 blogs per week or it could be just one. Each week will be different but I have to be okay with that.

I know writing is vitally important to my well-being. I will always write. But I must let inspiration wash over me. I have to allow myself time to live my life so I can feel compelled to write about it in a natural – not forced – way.

It is not without much thought that I write these words. I have prided myself so much on writing daily (save weekends) for two years and five months with NO TIME OFF.

But this isn’t a “job”, it is a blog. It is my blog. And for it to continue to have integrity I must give myself a break.

Simple Joys will surface as often as possible as it continues to bring a fresh perspective and positive glow to my life.

I may begin a “Thankful Thursday” post that shines a light on my gratitude.

Media and Music blogs will be revisited over time, but not on a weekly basis.

Tantalizing Thursday will be retooled and published only when I am pleased with a recipe that has worked for me and my family.

I realize, sadly, that I may lose my wonderful and loyal readership when I alter the formula I had used for these last several years, but I must plod forward.

My hope is we can continue to meet here at Chief 187™Chatter to exchange ideas, spread a positive message, and strengthen our bond.

Again, I am not quitting, I’m simply changing my writing schedule to better suit my family and my needs.

My aim is to put out even better work on a time-table that compliments my life.

Thank you for visiting the site, reading my words, and offering your support. I do so hope you continue to check in on the site regularly and watch on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Google + for when I publish new works.

Until we meet again… Peace.

Best Of-Day 10 January 11th

Welcome to Day 10 of the “Best Of” Chief 187™Chatter.

As winter settles in I choose to imagine a world with warm breezes, the sound and smell of the ocean, and a fabulous pool bar!

The Friday Music Blog is the oldest running column I pen. It began sometime in late 2007 and has been a mainstay since. It seems that people inherently love music and love to write about their favorites. I simply offer a topic for which others to fill in their music.

The following is an example from July 20, 2012 entitled “Friday Music Blog-Pool Bar Edition”. I hope you enjoy and I truly hope you feel compelled to add your selections to the original post!

The Friday Music Blog will resume this year as well so please make it a part of your week-end fun!

http://chief187.blogspot.com/2012/07/friday-music-blog-pool-bar-edition.html

Best Of-Day 9 January 10th

Welcome to Day 9 of the “Best Of” Chief 187™Chatter.

In my forty years on this good Earth I have created a core set of beliefs. They are ever-expanding as I experience more, meet new people, and grow my horizons.

Still, my beliefs are the foundation of what makes me who I am.

Join me for “I Believe…Do You?” from August 10, 2011.

http://chief187.blogspot.com/2011/08/i-believe-do-you.html

Best Of- Day 8 January 9th

Welcome to Day 8 of the “Best Of” Chief 187™Chatter.

Today is my husband and my 20th Wedding Anniversary!

We are over-joyed to mark this milestone and feel lucky and blessed to have made this achievement in a world where divorce rates are astronomically high. We still love each other passionately, greatly, and without reserve.

Please join me for “The Whole Story (The Abridged Version)” published on January 9, 2011.

Although written two years ago, little has changed. My husband has earned his Master’s Degree (huge kudos for him for earning all of his degrees as an adult), and I began a career in writing and broadcasting, but overall the piece is complete.

Happy 20th Anniversary to the man I love always and forever!

http://chief187.blogspot.com/2011/01/whole-story-abridged-version.html

Best Of-Day 7 January 8th

Welcome to Day 8 of the “Best Of” Chief 187™Chatter.

In the Summer of 2011 Simple Joys took off in Cyberland enjoying a huge audience. Twitter was the facilitator that brought Simple Joys to so many. I no longer target promote Simple Joys so its numbers no longer match those of the posts of that glorious summer.

Here is the highest rated Simple Joys on record. It’s not especially extraordinary, it just happened to reach the farthest.

Enjoy Simple Joys from July 26, 2011. Who doesn’t miss summer right about now?

http://chief187.blogspot.com/2011/07/simple-joys_26.html