50 (+2) Actual Ways to Leave Your Lover, Part II: The Women

Yesterday I published the 26 Ways to Leave Your Lover for the men. Today the ladies get their chance to leave their lover with as much flair.

Once again, thanks to Paul Simon for his fabulous song, the concept, and the title.

And now, without further ado, the 26 Ways to Leave Your Lover for the women.

 1. Abandon the palace, Alice
 2. Hit the parkway, Barbie
 3. Take the back alley, Callie
 4. Follow the sea, Donna Lea
 5. Go wherever the the highway will take ya, Estrella
 6. Hide his pantses, Frances
 7. Go with the wind, Gwendolyn
 8. Leave while he's huntin', Helen
 9. Act on your ideA, IdinA
10. Don't be tacky, just leave, Jackie
11. Just up and flee, Katy
12. Take everything but the cinder, Linder (Linda if you're not from NY)
13. Tell him it's for the best, Mavis
14. You can use the telly, Nellie
15. Who can blame ya, Olegna?
16. You'll find another laddy, Patty
17. For a moment, be a meanie, Queenie
18. Call him from the phone booth, Ruth
19. Let him know you're movin', Susan
20. If he gets mad, say, "to hell with ya," Tabitha
21. Tell him no more spoonie, Uni
22. Go off to Astoria, Victoria
23. It can be friendly, Wendy
24. He doesn't need ya, Xena
25. It will be good for you and him, Yasmin
26. In the end he'll thank ya, Zelda

And there you have it, not just 50, but 52 Ways to Leave Your Lover, for both men and women.

If you'd like to add your two cents, couplets, and/or names, please leave them as comments on today's or yesterday's post.

I always hope you STAY with your lover, but if you needed the boost, I hope these lists offered some keen advice. Good luck!