Infomercials

Infomercials have been around since as long as I can remember, but the products showcased used to be so humorous I couldn’t imagine anyone actually calling to buy the items. Over the years, marketing and products have become more sophisticated and now, as a consumer, I get really enticed by the twenty-two minute commercial I watch.

I have watched infomercials for over twenty years. They used to keep me company in the wee hours of the night when my husband would work closing at a fast food restaurant and he wouldn’t come home until 3:00am. Whether it was the “Flow Bee” hair cutter/vacuum or the Suzanne Sommers wonderful Thigh Master, there were hours of entertainment to watch in the overnight.

Once I had a regular job as a teacher I rarely if ever saw an infomercial. I was too busy sleeping in the nighttime and working during the day. Not until I was home with my first baby did infomercials reenter my life. Using the television to ward off sleep while nursing my child, I would see the most bizarre things being peddled. I asked for one of the Time-Life compilations album sets for Christmas one year and my princely husband came through! At one point, when delirium from lack of sleep set in and, experiencing a dry spell that was tortuous to say the least I even thought the Girls Gone Wild videos were intriguing! Seriously, for $10 I could have owned 3 videos of co-eds, spring breakers, and naughty girls doing sexy things on camera whilst drunk! Surely that would have been a jumpstart to a libido that had gone cold. Fortunately my senses and sex drive returned and I did not have to charge that set to my credit card. But, I was thisclose!

Recently I’ve been using the early morning hours to work out on my elliptical machine in the basement. We have an old television down there hooked up to a VCR. Yes, a VCR. I’ve watched everything from home movies of the last thirty-two years to hits of the 1980s and ‘90s like The Untouchables, Tombstone, For the Boys, and Forrest Gump. These movies are fantastic and I’ve enjoyed watching them all again, but I wanted a change this past week. I tried watching the morning news, and that’s great to see all of the day’s headlines by 5:00am, but news is actually fifteen minutes long and then repeated constantly, and that includes traffic and weather! So, once I’ve seen the daily news, I still have a good fifteen minutes plus to kill on the elliptical. While surfing I found the newest slew of infomercials. Now I want the “Ahh Bra”. I am so easily taken in by the testimonials of the “real women” who are interviewed for their “candid reviews” of the item. If it works for them, I think, why not me? The “Ahh Bra” is made of some space-aged material (nylon and spandex) and is an over-the-head bra that has no closures, adjustable straps or underwires, just this flimsy material that is soft and layerable. The bra, whether for a small-chested woman or a well-endowed one, is supposed to fit perfectly and offer immense support, lift, and comfort. It all looks well and good, and I’m all for comfort and looking good, but I know if I were to pay my $60 (which would get me not one, not two, but three “Ahh Bras” which is considerably less than one foundation at the store that can run over $100) and have the “Ahh Bra” sent to me, I would put the thing on and wind up sporting a “uniboob” – one boob in the middle of my chest that is neither comfortable nor attractive. Upon telling my girlfriend this she started to use her announcer’s voice stating, “It’s Uniboob” like I was a superhero. She went on to say that my superhero uniform would have a large “U” where my single boob would stick out of, protruding to the world. I just can’t, in good conscious, go there. I’ll keep my $60, my underwire, and my two boobs while I try to keep the world safe for democracy and uncomfortable yet attractive shapewear for all.

I may never break down and buy a product from the infomercials, but I’m quite sure I’ll always be enamored by their pull. I am usually compelled to watch, at least a few times, all of these miraculous products that I’ve lived without for a lifetime but now don’t need to. Infomercials may be one sign of the Apocalypse, but I can’t help but sweat it out on my elliptical machine and watch.

Simple Joys

There are so many ways I’ve been enriched by writing Chief 187 Chatter.  From finding and owning my voice in the typed word to exploring myriad topics that interest, disturb, and confuse me, I am learning, growing, and expanding my knowledge base exponentially. Winter, typically a time of hibernation, isolation, and depression in my former life, has now been redefined as a time of self-exploration, wellness, and outreach. Among the ways I’ve made this transformation is through this feature of Simple Joys.

My Simple Joys are numerous and personal. What turns me on and enthralls me one week may not be the same the next, whereas other things are truly universal week in and week out. This week the following have made the list for my Simple Joys.

Pizza. The family and I treated my brother-in-law, his bride and their son to lunch at the local pizzeria on Saturday. This is our favorite pizza place, but the pizza is not consistently great. In fact, going on a Saturday afternoon we have gotten sub-par pizza, but they are only in town for the weekend and wanted pizza. We ordered, enjoyed scrumptious fried calamari that was crispy, tender, and delicious, and then was treated to our main course, pizza. To my delight and satisfaction the pizza came out picture perfect, smelling great, and tasting amazingly good. All were happy with their portion and I was relieved that our pizzeria delivered a terrific meal for us. I love pizza.

Sushi. With our out-of-town family visiting and wanting to partake in our area’s finest in dining, we packed up our two families, met our good friends, and ate in our all-time favorite sushi buffet. Buffets are usually not the way I enjoy dining out as the food sometimes sits out too long, gets dried out, and is flavorless to try to appeal to the masses. This restaurant is different and superb. Asian food, including numerous types of sushi, is freshly prepared before your eyes and constantly being refreshed when supplies get low. Nothing stays out too long and the food is the freshest I ever ate. If you are not a sushi lover or you prefer different kinds of Asian foods there are dishes such as teriyaki chicken, spare ribs, fried rice, crab cakes, and cooked cod. There are salads, peel-and-eat shrimp, crab legs, and soups. And, once dinner is sufficiently dined, there is a huge and luscious dessert bar as well as a crepes station and soft ice cream machine. It is a magnificent place! My husband and I enjoy sushi, as do all three of our children. The children are charged only a fraction of the full price fare based on their height. I feel sorry for the restaurant as when our children eat there, they eat more than they are charged!

Baby. We met our eight-month-old nephew for the first time. He lives in Dubai with his mom and dad and this was their first visit back to the States since his arrival. He is a handsome and precious boy who has big dark eyes, a full head of brown hair, and a wonderful demeanor. He was, however, stuck in a nine-hour-different time zone, suffering from jet lag, and in foreign land where nothing save mom and dad were familiar. I love this little tyke and completely sympathize with him. Hearing him crying in the middle of the night, however, did strengthen my resolve, that I am completely happy with the size of my family. I am confident that my baby making days are over and I am moving on to the next chapter of my life with my three children. This is a liberating and joyful decision. I can look at his little clothes and think “how cute” not “I want one”. I was blessed with the three children who made my family complete. And, now that they are here, I’m at peace.

I am always delighted to read what your Simple Joys are. Keeping the focus on the positive in life helps offset the negative. It has been and is my goal to keep the positive as the nucleus of Chief 187 Chatter. I hope you will assist me in keeping with that goal.

After you respond, please remember to join me tomorrow for an examination of infomercials. 

Monday Movie Blog

Welcome in to the Monday Movie Blog. As we continue to create a comprehensive list of movies alphabetically I implore you to continue adding your selections. The more movie titles we have the larger our resource becomes. Today’s topic could prove to be challenging, but with a few extra minutes to research your movie database, it will be well worth it.

Today’s topic for the Monday Movie Blog is movies that begin with the letter “I”. Please list the movie name and any stars from the cast.  A brief reason why you loved the movie or a short synopsis of the plot is also appreciated.

Please check back to this blog throughout the day to see what titles have been added. Then, I ask you to join me tomorrow for the popular Simple Joys blog that appears every Tuesday. The best way I know to keep joy in your life is to think about the joys you have. I have gotten a huge boost since writing this feature and urge you to leave your list weekly of the Simple Joys you enjoy in your life.

Happy Monday! I look forward to reading the list of movies that begin with the letter “I” today!

Friday Music Blog

Welcome to Friday and the Friday Music Blog! We are now in March and that means spring is on its way! I found this week to be most enlightening, enjoyable, and trying. Yes, I still run into my frustrations, annoyances, and pity-parties, too. Fortunately this outlet and spending a post-dinner conversation with my husband unhampered by children (they were all playing elsewhere) last night allowed me to get back on track and I'm feeling great as we springboard into the weekend.

Today's topic asks you to think back to your youth. The focus is songs that were popular the year you got your driver's license. This does not completely indicate your age as many states vary the legal age to drive and some may not have gone for their license at that specific age. This isn't about outing your age, but rather what songs were popular when you got your first taste of real freedom. When the open road beckoned and adventure lay ahead. Whether you drove to and from school, to a job, or to the movies, what songs were the soundtrack of that time?

Please include the song name and the artist. These topics are meant to be fun and a great collection of music that showcase, in a small way, who we are. It is my profound pleasure to read your responses and am always delighted by all who take the time to write. The songs are only part of the blog. If you'd care to write about the car you drove (your own, a parent's), any anecdotes from your first year as a driver, or what songs played on your first driving dates, then please, type away (you, too, Dad!).

Many thanks to you all who continue to stay with me, read the blogs, leave your comments, and encourage me. From Simple Joys to The Secret of Life and from Monday Movie Blog to Friday Movie Blog and a little Tantalizing Thursday thrown into the mix, this has been a full week and I'm so glad to have you here to share it.

I look forward to reading your responses to today's topic and hope you will check in over the weekend. Then, join me on Monday as we start another new week of topics together. Enjoy!

Tantalizing Thursday

Thursdays are great in that you can see the finish line for the end of the work week, television is usually good, and relaxation can start to set in. I ease into weekend mode on Thursday evening and picture myself on the other end of the Friday work schedule. Thursdays hold such promise, relief, and excitement. I hope you enjoy your Thursday. As is usual for Tantalizing Thursday I am sharing a recipe that has served me well in recent months. It is fitting for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, or a late-night snack. It is as rich and sinful as you want it to be, or can be tweaked to fit your dietary needs. Today I'm offering up this workhorse recipe in my repertoire, Quiche Lorraine.

Carnation Quiche Lorraine
obtained from Allrecipes.com by Nestle Carnation (Registered)

INGREDIENTS:

1 (9 inch) unbaked (4 cup volume) deep-dish pie shell  I use Pillsbury Pie Crust
6 slices of bacon
1/2 cup chopped onion
1 1/2 cups shredded Swiss cheese
1 (12 fluid ounce) can Nestle CARNATION Evaporated Milk
3 large eggs
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg


DIRECTIONS:
1. PREHEAT oven to 350 degrees F.

2. COOK bacon in large skillet over medium heat. When bacon starts to  turn brown, add onion. Cook until bacon is crisp; drain. Sprinkle cheese into bottom of pie shell. Top with bacon mixture. Combine evaporated milk, eggs, salt, pepper, and nutmeg in small bowl until blended. Pour into pie shell.

3. BAKE for 30-35 minutes or until knife inserted halfway  between center and edge comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes on wire rack before serving.

4. NOTE:  Quiche fits a variety of meal occasions from brunch to dinner and also makes an outstanding appetizer. If using metal or foil pans, bake on preheated heavy-duty baking sheet.

I use a glass pie plate, the Pillsbury pie crust, and the store brand evaporated milk that is typically on sale. I've made this recipe more than two dozen times since the holidays and it is scrumptious each time. This is a fail-safe recipe that yields tremendous results. I use regular bacon but turkey bacon can be substituted. I use fat free evaporated milk instead of regular. I omit the onion as my family does not like it and I omit the salt because I feel the bacon is salty enough. I up the pepper and nutmeg amounts and enjoy the infusion of flavor.  This egg dish lends itself well for an on-the-go breakfast when you need a protein punch and, paired with a traditional green or succulent fruit salad can transform into a meal at brunch, lunch, or dinner. Take the basic recipe and add vegetables or whatever you'd like. If you've never tried making your own Quiche before, this recipe is easy and will make you feel like a Rock Star! My oven, which is calibrated well, still needs 40-45 minutes to set this meal. Use your eyes and nose and you will know when it is done.

I hope you give this recipe a go and let me know what kind of results you get. I had always bought Quiche at the grocery store and was less than enthused, especially with the price tag. Now I make extraordinary Quiche Lorraine for the fraction of the cost! I keep the ingredients on hand weekly so I can literally "whip one up". During this cold winter my husband refueled with this in the mornings. In fact, I'm off to make one now!

Thank you for stopping by today. I hope you enjoy the recipe, let me know your thoughts and, it you are so inclined, leave one of your recipes. Please join me tomorrow for the week ending and interactive Friday Music Blog. Happy Tantalizing Thursday!

The Secret of Life

Many throughout the ages seek the Secret of Life. Books have been written, motivational speakers have been hired, and prayers have been uttered to discover this ultimate knowledge. I am in no way claiming to have found humanity’s answer, but, for me, I think I’m reaching an enlightened state. Mostly I’m in a good space and that is part of the Secret.

Returning from one of my myriad trips to the grocery store with my daughter slumbering in the backseat my iPod randomly chose James Taylor’s “The Secret of Life” to serenade me. I was struck that James Taylor is somewhat of a prophet. He sings his own words that speak to me so richly. From “Shower the People” to “Fire and Rain” and “The Secret of Life” I get transfixed, lost in thought, and introspective. Does James Taylor hold The Secret to Life? Perhaps, but although I do believe it is simple, I think the secret is a bit different for each individual.

I only ever speak for myself. As I’ve often said this project is a journey, I’ve learned, to date, that surrounding myself with family of the heart (not always related) is one of the secrets. I am lucky and blessed to enjoy my family of origin, the family I created, and my friends who I care about like family. These people make me enjoy each day and add fullness to my life. When good or bad occurs, it is my family I turn to for celebration or healing.

Doing what you love would be another Secret of Life I’m discovering. I loved being a teacher. I reveled in the rapport I had with my students, my co-workers, and my subject matter. From seeing a student have an “aha moment”, having a student confide in me, and the shared camaraderie with fellow teachers, I immersed myself in my career and enjoyed every year I spent in the field. But, upon leaving the career to have and raise my children, I wanted to explore a different path. Writing was always a passion I had put on the back burner as an adult. I never made the time to commit to it and thus that part of my life stagnated. Once I started writing as a hobby my life changed immensely for the better. And, since I’ve embraced the idea that I am a “writer” my “career” in writing has exploded! I write for several outlets that publish my work on the Internet and have this site that lifts me to a higher plane each day. One of my writing gigs even parlayed into a segment on an Internet Radio program where I get to talk about NASCAR weekly. I am discovering that I love that, too! When work is what you enjoy, when you are inspired, invigorated, and correctly challenged, then work is no longer a four-letter-word, but a joy. Now that is a Secret I truly am thrilled to know and put into practice.

Accepting faults but trying to better myself without beating myself up is another Secret of Life. This one is a difficult one to master. I err; I’m human. But by being a parent who must model appropriate behavior and lifestyle choices, it is burdensome when I fall short of goodness. I am always motivated by love, but my frustrations can get the better of me. Learning to live in the moment and remembering clichés like “this too shall pass” and “will this matter in 10 years (10 minutes)?” is vital. I’m working on this. I haven’t mastered it yet.

Mostly it comes down to those lyrics of James Taylor again. He wrote, “The Secret of Life is enjoying the passage of time”.  I’m finding many things each day that I am grateful for and thankful. I try to keep a smile on my face, stay in the present, and engage in my life, my children, and my world. As simple as that seems it isn’t easy. I am constantly refocusing and getting lost in the quagmire that is life, but pieces like this, songs by James Taylor and other artists, books and magazine articles I read, all help to bring me back to centered. Being able to do that is yet another Secret of Life.

The Secret of Life is a living, breathing concept. Like life, it changes. Change is a constant in our world so I try to embrace it rather than turn my back to it and fight it. The Secret of Life is not one thing for all people nor is it only one thing for me. And what it is this week may actually alter over the weeks, months, and years. But, I feel empowered thinking I’ve touched upon some of the Secret and hope you gleaned some of the Secret for you, too.

Simple Joys

Happy Tuesday! Today is one of my most favorite days of the week as it is once again a day to discuss Simple Joys. From the time I end the Tuesday column to the next time Tuesday comes around again I think in terms of what I get to write about for this piece. It truly is a joy to get to share what I get the most pleasure out of from week to week. Without further ado, here is this week’s Simple Joys.

Curling iron. That’s right, the curling iron. I owned one of these hair appliances for my whole adult life, but the one I owned dated to 1988. It worked, but took endless (precious) minutes to warm up and did a mediocre job at best on my hair. Finally, on a whim, I broke down and purchased a brand new curling iron at the local discount store. I chose a brand name model that has twenty-five settings! Twenty-five! The one I owned previously had one setting, on! This new model heated up in thirty seconds, and had an automatic shut-off. The best part? It cost me only $10! It took me a while before I opened the curling iron, but the first day I did I was so thrilled with the purchase. I looked like I stepped out of the salon after just a few minutes of working on my hair! I realize this is not huge in most people’s lives, but I do love to have good-looking hair. For $10 I scored that and a smile that still hasn’t been wiped off my face!

Spring clothes. This revolves around buying again. I didn’t mean for that to happen in one column, as Simple Joys for me are really not about spending money. But, as it has been such a long winter, I really needed to amp up my mood and wardrobe for spring and the “Southeastern Media Tour” I’m taking in April. I went to my local T.J. Maxx, got out of my normal mode and tried on clothing that was to my liking but different than I had in my wardrobe. I tried to imagine myself in a makeover program and find items that would be modern, hip, comfortable, flattering, and workable in my existing wardrobe. Mission accomplished! I am thrilled with my bounty and anxious to premiere it this spring. Best part is, I got a lot for the money I spent and they are timeless, classic pieces I’ll be wearing for many seasons to come. I don’t recommend ‘retail therapy’ as a cure-all, but I do think it is important to infuse one’s wardrobe on occasion to make oneself a priority in one’s own life.  Once spring arrives I’ll post pictures of these great looks!

Paper airplanes. My four year old enjoys when I make paper airplanes out of magazine pages. We rip them out and he watches me fold them into makeshift ‘airplanes’. What this young, innocent boy does not know is that his mother, however well intentioned, never learned how to make a proper paper airplane. My designs are less than aerodynamic and shoddy at best. They rarely fly straight or at all. But my four-year-old son thinks they are tremendous machines and uses his imagination to supplement what reality is lacking. He even decorates these paper planes with stickers and makes up great tales of what the stickers represent. The moral of this for me is that the child could care less how good I am at something; he simply wants to spend quality time with his mamma and have my undivided attention. It is sometimes difficult to stop doing the dishes or get off the computer to give the child that, but if I can remember how vastly rewarded I am by the simple action of spending time with him, it is worth every precious second.

Anticipation. My brother-in-law, his bride and their baby son are coming to visit us from Dubai this weekend. We haven’t seen them in over two years and have never met our nephew before. We are beyond thrilled and are beside ourselves with anticipation. I have known my brother-in-law since he was twelve. He is simply my little brother. He makes me laugh hard and often. His bride is a lovely woman who I genuinely enjoy and adore. Family is the very core of all that is good, simple, and joyful. I wish you all a wonderful week and one brimming with an abundance of Simple Joys.