The connotations run deeply and are varied.
The definitions are as different as the snowflakes that fall from the sky.
Many long for it, others feel they have a distaste for it as it’s “too much work”. Some just miss the boat about what it means to their partner.
There is no one size fits all brand of romance, yet it is vital to figure out a way to keep it in one’s romantic life or the romantic life will cease to exist.
So if flowers and candy are your only go to for romance, stick around to get another perspective on what Romance could be.
Let’s begin at the beginning. Flowers and candy can be romantic, nice, and appreciated. Same goes with wine, champagne, satin sheets, and jewelry. But real romance has little to do with things.
Intimacy is the key to Romance.
And to achieve intimacy there is work to do. But I think the "work" is fun and richly rewarding.
Respect is vital to intimacy.
If we, and by “we” I mean both men and women, don’t feel valued, heard, and important then we cannot get in tune with the romantic advances being served to us.
When in a monogamous relationship and trying to hold on to intimacy and romance, there are things to remember from both sides of the relationship.
Here is a list I have compiled in no particular order:
Remember the needs of your partner.
Help with household chores.
Take turns keeping the children while the other enjoys “me time”.
Insist on "date night" with one another.
Share interests in common.
Share interests apart.
Touch, often. Not all touch is sexual. Some is just soothing, pleasing, and relaxing.
Kissing. Never underestimate the power of kissing.
Loving. Speak lovingly. Act lovingly. Touch lovingly. Kiss lovingly. Get it?
Asking. Ask your partner questions and…
Listen. Listen to their response with your UNDIVIDED attention. I struggle with this, but I’m working on it.
Remember. Important date in your partner’s life? Need to pick up milk or dinner? Your turn to call the sitter so date night can happen? Mail the card to his/her mother? Remembering what is important to your partner makes you a better partner.
Offering. Can I pour you a cup of coffee? Do you need me to fill the gas tank? Shall I make your favorite dinner? Would you like a back massage? Even if the answer is no, you are still offering and that goes a long way. And if they say, “Yes, thank you!” be thrilled not put out.
Complimentary. You are truly as sexy as the day I met you. You are becoming far more distinguished and HOT as you age. Your new hairstyle looks fantastic! Is that a new outfit? You look fabulous! This isn’t rocket science; who doesn’t want to hear they look better than ever and are still valued?
Dressing well. Remember flirting and dating? You wouldn’t dare leave the house in pajama pants, slippers, and a t-shirt three sizes too big when you were young and dating. Wear make-up, adjust your waistline, and wear great foundations, ladies. Men, wear something beyond jeans and a t-shirt once in a while. Ladies, skirts and dresses are always sexy!
Converse. You know, talk to your partner. The way you used to… about your dreams, movies, television, books, and music you like or have just discovered. Talk about what you have in common and listen to what they love.
Romance is truly accessible in your relationship with a modicum of effort. By staying ensconced in the relationship, valuing the person you are in the relationship with, and keeping the both of you as the core priority, romance follows easily.
Am I any kind of expert? Heck no. But I keep trying… I am the hopeless romantic that understands Romance takes work, but the work is so very worth it.
Wishing you all a healthy dose of Romance from here forward.
Please join me tomorrow for delectable recipes on Tantalizing Thursday on Chief 187™Chatter.