Tuesday, October 26, 2010


"When at first you don't succeed, try, try again."

Like Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise I do not believe in the no-win scenario. I may not excel at all the things I try, - let's face it, who does? - but if it is important to me I never give up. I play to win! And although my life is littered with the sports, activities, and pursuits I did abandon, it has a strong foundation built on the successes I achieved.
My biggest success, the one hardest fought and most revered, is my relationship with my husband. From the moment we knew ours was a true love as young teenagers we had to combat the prejudices of others who felt it could not be; it must be "puppy love". We were not taken seriously in our commitment to one another but stayed devoted to one another and, with time, were able to start our lives together at a very young age. Over the years our tenacity was tested, our relationship was put through the wringer, and our mettle was questioned. There were times each of us felt harangued, frustrated, lost, and depleted, yet the one thing we knew we had was a deep love for one another. We both fought hard to save the relationship, and still do. Marriage is work. When the two people stop working it is not destined to survive. We are over-achievers in this category.
Other areas in my life required perseverance as well. My heart was set on attending college at the same school as my husband. I fought hard to attend, graduated a year early to follow him, and even had a glowing letter of recommendation from an alumni who was a financial contributor to the school. My grades were great and my S.A.T scores were okay. Well, the school felt that my lack of fourth year courses at the high school level and my mediocre S.A.T numbers were enough to keep me OUT of their hallowed hallways. I was devastated. But, with the guidance of my mother, I found a school near that other one and applied. They took me gladly and offered me money to attend to boot! In perseverance learning when to take an alternate route is also important. That school was a better fit for my chosen career path and my personality and tender age.
As a teacher it took me a time to find regular contractual employment. I was getting a lot of work, but most of it was as a substitute, long-term sub, or in part-time positions. But I never gave up and, when one door closed in a school, I began working in another. Eventually I was awarded a contract, a full time schedule, benefits, and a career. It was ideal; I adored teaching, and I excelled at it. But then the next struggle came my way.
In the summer of 2001 my husband and I decided that after 8 1/2 years of marriage we were ready to start having a family. Once a couple makes this decision they usually are impatient to wait for it to happen; they want to get pregnant 'yesterday'! After a couple months of trying and failing September 11th occurred and life went tilt. We mourned with the country and prayed for relief. Our messages were clear from all in charge - live your life with normalcy. With renewed vigor and some helpful advice we resumed our quest, and within a couple of months was rewarded with a "positive" read on the pregnancy test! The following summer I finished the last school year I'd teach and started my path on the finest vocation I've ever had, motherhood.
Now I am at a crossroads again. I've written of my involvement with Karate. I have been on a self-imposed hiatus due to my daughter, trying to put her needs ahead of mine. I tried to return too early last spring and found the entire process undesirable and thus stopped again. But now she is older, not as dependent on me. This is the time to make my next move on the path to wellness, health, and self-esteem; Karate has afforded me this in the past and is ripe to deliver the same if I put the time and effort. Tonight I suit up and re-enter the dojo as a student-in-training. It is unbelievably difficult to wrest myself away from my home life in the evening. But I know I must do this for me and to show my children that quitting nor failing is an option. Karate is a lifelong journey, but one that you have to participate to reap the rewards.
In all parts of life decisions are made that affect the whole. They may be life altering or they may be minor, but keeping true to oneself and putting the good fight forth is the only way to preserver. Life is not just about surviving, it's about getting through the hurdles a stronger more knowledgeable person.  I'm trying to teach my children: adopt a "can do" attitude and behold all that can be accomplished!
Wish me luck!


  1. You don't need anyone to wish you luck, you can do it and we will all be cheering you on along your Karate journey!

  2. remind me never to startle you! ;)
    congrats on your return to the mat!

  3. While there is life, there's hope. Your doing fine.

  4. Karate was awesome last night! I still have some muscle memory and I enjoyed the skills we worked; can't wait to get this body back in shape! Thank you for all of your support!!

  5. I recently lost 25 pounds.. started in May... haven't stepped on the scale yet - feel better knowing I lost weight without being obsessed with the scale... I still have to show you that twin preg pic where I filled up the width of a hallway! Best of luck on your Karate journey!