Thirty-nine years ago today I was born to two loving parents who already had two sons. Between birth and now a lot has transpired, some of it good, some of it horrifying, and a lot of it fantastic. The details are not important, what is important is embracing all of what makes me me. On my true thirty-ninth birthday I’m taking my freestyle Wednesday to write about me.
Unlike a lot of women I’ve come in contact I revel in birthdays. Sure it means I’m getting older, but for the last ten year I feel I am the age I am supposed to be. As a child I was often told I was wiser than my years. Many accused me of starting life as a “forty year old person”! Not until I left my teens and twenties did my life start to make sense to me. My thirties have been my absolute favorite decade to date, but I’m not anxious about the next twelve months, I’m terribly excited. If my thirties were this great, I can only picture my forties being even better! And what better way to be than embracing each day?
During my thirties I started a family. I left behind my career in formal public education and concentrated on starting, caring for, and expanding my family. From thirty to thirty-seven I had three babies, learned how to make a home, was challenged by parenting issues, and found a comforting balance in life. I learned that as tough as a “nine-to-five job” is, being a parent is a 24/7/365 for life job and one that I am blessed and proud to hold. Devastating sadness met me mid decade when I lost a pregnancy. But through time, the help of others, and an intrinsic desire to be the best parent and person I could be, I came through that. As I begin to leave my thirties I find my children are fascinating beings in their own right, I have created a career through my talents, and am truly starting to learn who I am, what turns me on in life, and how to fulfill my potential.
Before I project about what my forties will be like I want to enjoy today and the twelve months that will follow. I am so looking forward to spending my day celebrating my life. Mostly I am excited about reading all of my Facebook and Twitter birthday messages (social media is a beautiful thing), having fun with my family, and doing a great Main Event Show on Eventlevel.com with a favorite guest I lined up. For the first time in my life I am working on my birthday and I am happy about it!
When I started this career less than a year ago I had no clear goal in mind; I simply knew I had to write. Writing led to Internet Radio work and more writing gigs at different sites. I used to get stressed that I couldn’t focus on a clear-cut goal. Asking those I respected and admired how to grow my marketability several told me, “Find your unique niche and fill it; stop writing about everything and concentrate on being known for one thing.” That was advice I just couldn’t stomach. I get more inspired the more topics I allow myself to write. Now, in addition to NASCAR, I write about Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), musicians, entertainers, and, of course, all of my personal ramblings here at Chief 187 Chatter. By being “everywhere” I am coming in contact with so many that my marketability has grown by leaps and bounds! As a younger woman I would have acquiesced to the seemingly wiser mentors, but I am so much more confident and knowledgeable about my talents that I trusted myself in the face of “sage advice”. And now it is starting to pay off in spades!
I embrace my birthday because it brings with it a rich history of hard-earned peace, reflection, and optimism for the future. I continue to get better. Still fallible and learning (always learning) I have the ability to take setbacks, learn from them, and not get derailed. Of course it’s scary that my face and body are changing, but I have the ability to view myself with kind eyes; these lines are evidence of a well-lived life. Sure I’m not a hard-body twenty year old, but I have wisdom and the power to use a healthy diet and exercise to change my physicality for the better. Proud that my body carried and nursed three babies, proud that I have sustained a healthy, ever-changing yet always passionate relationship/marriage for a quarter century and I’m just now turning thirty-nine!
It may seem annoying or, at the very least, conceited on my part to write this way. What makes this piece so special to me is that for the first time in my life, I’m owning my self-worth. I’m seeing my best instead of picking at the flaws. Turning thirty-nine is wonderful not devastating. Staring forty down is terribly exciting not depressing. I am at my best and continue to get better; I’m still making mistakes and learning, but I get better!
Happy Birthday, Chief 187! And to all of you reading, thank you for making my journey to this day absolutely fulfilling. Sharing my birthday in this way honors me, flatters me, and humbles me. I use these words a lot, but I use them because they are true. Thank you All!